Notes
Listen to this episode on Youtube
In earlier broadcasts, I showed how some Christian religion along with Bible scriptures can lower a person’s self-esteem, confidence, and self-love; and limit their autonomy. In this episode, I give tools to repair these areas.
Chapters:
- 0:00 Introduction
- 0:34 Intro music
- 0:58 1: Grooming and hygiene
- 1:59 2: Eat healthy and exercise
- 2:38 3: Start cleaning your house and car
- 2:53 4: Remove with negative people and media
- 3:45 5: Stop dimming your light
- 5:24 6: Say positive things about yourself
- 6:01 7: Meditate
- 7:12 What is Self-Love?
- 8:09 1: Stand up for yourself
- 9:02 2: Get justice
- 9:52 3: Reject bad services
- 12:12 4: Protect yourself and others
- 13:01 5: Secure your home and possessions
- 13:42 6: Buy yourself a gift
- 14:23 7: Forgive yourself
- 15:08 Outro and music
Transcript
What’s up, good people?
This is your host, Neil Real, and this is the Apostate Apple broadcast.
Today I’m talking about how to repair your self-esteem and your love for self.
As I mentioned in my previous broadcast, the Bible and religion and even people in your life will and can tear down your self-esteem and your love for self.
So today I’m just going to show you some techniques that I used to repair my self-esteem and my love for self.
And I’m still a work in progress.
So let’s start with self esteem.
To boost your self esteem, the best thing you can start doing is simply grooming and hygiene, okay?
Some people’s esteem is so low, and I’ve been here where I’m so depressed that I’m not dealing with my hair.
I’m not cutting it, I’m not washing it, I’m not washing my body.
I’m funky.
I’m walking around musty.
My clothes are not together that well.
I’m looking at hot mess, and that’s because my steam is so low and I just see myself as worthless.
The first thing you can do is to start grooming and hygiene, okay?
Get you a good healthy body wash and get a haircut.
You can go to a beauty salon or a barber shop or something like that and start to get yourself looking better.
And as soon as you start to look better, you’ll feel better.
As soon as you start smelling better, you’ll feel better.
The next step is to eat healthy and exercise.
When you eat certain foods, like a lot of fruits and vegetables, it does something to your mind and it does something to your esteem.
You feel better, okay?
Exercise also makes you feel better about yourself.
You can also buy clothes that kind of fit your body and make you look a little better, that highlight some of your features and things of that nature.
And this is all boosting your self esteem.
It totally works.
I remember I started to buy clothes that actually fit me, and I felt good.
I bought some new shoes.
I started to really focus on my appearance better, and it boosted my self esteem.
The next thing you can do is to start to clean up your house and your car, get it washed and keep things tidy and organized so that you feel better about yourself.
And it definitely will boost your self esteem.
Start to deal with negative people and negative input.
Now, the input could be the media.
It could be any video platform where you’re getting content from people.
You don’t want to hear stuff that causes you to feel low about yourself.
You want something that’s going to uplift you.
All right?
Stay away from people in your physical location or people that you deal with at work or say, for instance, at church or family members or so called friends or people that provide services to you.
It’s time to say, these people are not good for me, or you can check their behavior and what they be saying and say, look, that’s not something I want to hear anymore.
I’m moving in a positive direction.
And if you can’t change how you’re talking to me, then we don’t need to be together.
I’m going to have to limit my interaction with you.
Another thing you can do to boost your self esteem is to stop dimming your light.
What I mean by that is you may have accomplishments, you may have greatness, you may have intelligence, but somebody has been telling you that you can’t show that off.
Somebody may even made you feel like you were boasting or perhaps you were bragging or being halty or arrogant or whatever they’ve lied to you about simply because you were great, simply because you had skills and talents.
And so a lot of people do it, especially people in the black community, because other people around them have a low vibration and a low mindset and low self esteem.
They want that other person to stay down along with them.
Misery loves company.
And so you get accustomed to hiding how great you are, hiding your talents.
Maybe you can sing, dance, maybe you’re intelligent in the weight of writing code, or you have skills that are not common amongst the people.
And so somebody comes along and says, you can’t.
That ain’t nothing.
And you showing off and you’re doing this like, don’t listen to that.
Start to say, I’m going to let my light shine, and I’m not going to sit up here and let you tell me what I’m doing is somehow wrong.
Really, the issue is with these people is they’re insecure and they’re envious of your gifts and talents, and they want to shut you down so they can feel better about themselves when they should be focusing on building themselves up so that they can shine and glorify themselves.
So to boost your self esteem, you got to let your light shine.
Here’s the next one here.
Stop saying negative affirmations, okay?
You’re saying things to yourself that’s not positive.
I’m not good enough.
I’m not that.
I’m not this, I’m slow, I ain’t s***.
This, that and the other.
All of these things that you’re repeating, even the scriptures that I mentioned in the past, these are negative affirmations that will basically manifest into your life and make what you saying come to the past.
So it’s important that you say positive things to yourself.
Positive things to yourself will boost your self esteem, all right?
And finally, in the self esteem department, it’s important that you meditate.
The way meditation works is basically focusing on the now, right in the moment.
In some cases, you may be asked to listen to your breathing.
While you’re doing this, thoughts may be coming to your mind and they may be negative.
It’s important that you learn to reframe those negative thoughts into something positive.
So you may feel like, I’m worth this, man.
I can’t do s***.
And then you should say, no, I am full of value.
And then name some things that are valuable.
And this may take time as you practice, but if you can’t think of anything, write some things down and then save them and say, you know what?
I’m going to remember this.
I’m going to use this next time I start to hear something negative, I’m going to reframe that thought, and I’m going to pull out my sheet of paper or whatever I’ve saved on my phone, and I’m going to repeat what’s positive instead of what’s negative.
And over time, you will be able to reframe your negative thoughts to something positive, therefore boosting your self esteem.
Okay?
So finally, let’s talk about self love.
You’re basically saying, I love myself, and you’re doing things that show your subconscious that you are loved, okay?
Because a lot of us haven’t been loved.
Our religion don’t love us, christianity don’t love us, islam don’t love us.
And then people there are people who don’t love us.
They haven’t shown us love.
And so they program us to not love ourselves, and we end up hating ourselves.
So it’s back to the same things I mentioned in Self esteem, but grooming and hygiene, eating healthy and exercise, cleaning up your house.
All of these things say, I love myself.
When you see a person well dressed, smelling good, in shape, walking down the street, they love themselves.
You can see it.
When you start to dress well and groom yourself and smell good and love yourself, you will demand respect, and you will get respect.
The next thing you can do in the area of self love is to stand up for yourself.
So reject all psychological and physical abuse, all right?
If somebody’s putting their hands on you or bullying or pushing around, reject that.
Stand up for yourself.
I’m not taking this anymore.
If they’re verbally saying things or underhanded comments or their behaviors and actions are causing you to fail and they’re doing things to keep you back and stand up for yourself, say, this ain’t right.
I’m not taking this, okay?
This is an act of self love.
You love yourself enough to say, I’m going to be treated with respect.
I’m going to be treated with love, kindness, affection, admiration.
This is what you’re doing for yourself.
Stand up.
And so the more you do that, the more you will gain more love from people around you and the more of a love for yourself, okay?
Another thing you can do is to get justice.
There are things that happen to us on a daily basis or every now and then that sometimes when you don’t love yourself, you just let go.
I’m going to just let that go.
Now.
We got to pick our battles in life, but some things should not be let go.
It could be a small thing.
You say, Well, I’m going to just let that go.
But to that bully, they say, oh, I can do this again, or you’re telling yourself that it’s okay for things like this to happen to me.
And so what will happen is more things like that may happen to you, and you’ll continue to put up with it.
And so if you don’t want those things to happen to you, if you find that unpleasant, if you find it disrespectful, if you find it unhealthy and harmful and abusive, say, I’m going to get justice for this.
Reject bad services.
This is still in the same line of standing up for yourself or saying, I love myself.
I had an instance where I moved to a new location.
I had to set up my post office box, and the ladies in there was ran by a bunch of older women, and they were very rude and offensive and masculine, and it was consistent almost every time I would come in there.
They weren’t being some type of way with me.
They’re being some type of way with somebody else.
You can see the distress on people’s faces, but it’s like nobody else could go.
It’s like, this is the only place we can go.
And when I looked online, every post office in that city had at least no more than two stars, okay?
And I’m like, D***.
And I said to myself, I’m not putting up with this type of service.
This is unacceptable.
Now, in the past, I would have said, I just got to deal with this.
It’s only going to be for maybe ten minutes.
I got to stand in this line, and then I got to deal with this knucklehead woman and whatever issues she got going on with her.
No.
I started to search the city.
I couldn’t find any post office that had over two stars.
I looked outside of the city, I found one that had five stars.
I moved my post office to them, and I had the best service ever since.
The lady in there, they’re sweet, they’re kind, respectful, professional, every woman that works in there, because once again, there’s a bunch of women running the thing, and I haven’t seen any men.
All these host office, at least the two I’ve been to, but this one in this case is 15 minutes away.
The one that was rude and unprofessional, that was five minutes away, so but I love myself enough to drive an extra ten minutes to pick up something from my post office, because I’m going to be treated better.
And these are little things that you can do to say, I love myself.
Now, there’s a lot of people in there.
I will see in the previous post office, the negative one, and they just be in those lines, and they’re sitting here just taking this s***.
And I said, I’m not going to be one of those people.
I’m not going to be like that.
I love myself enough to reject bad service, I’m not going to tolerate it.
If you love yourself, you’ll begin to protect yourself.
Another so when I was a Christian and I had that mindset, I believe that guns and fighting skills were unnecessary because the Lord would protect me.
Now that I don’t have that belief system, and I love myself enough to know that I don’t want myself being harmed out here in these streets, or I don’t want to be harmed in my home.
I went out and got a gun, and I learned how to use it, and I learned how to fight, and I practice shooting, and I practice fighting.
Fortunately, nothing has happened.
But I’m glad that I had a mindset that if something does go down in my home, that I’m strapped.
I got this Glock for anybody that wants something.
I got these hands for somebody, and I got these feet for somebody.
Okay?
Now, security cameras is another way you can protect your home.
Securing your home, getting a fence, securing your cars, getting better security around all these things, maybe a security service.
These all say that you love yourself, you want to protect yourself, you want to keep your life.
There was a period where I didn’t do anything.
I was free from God and religion, but I didn’t care too much for myself because I was still dealing with this lack of love for myself, and I didn’t do anything.
You can’t just walk on hope when it comes to things like this.
So it’s important to be safe.
And if you love yourself, you are creating a safe environment for yourself and for others.
Finally, a few things you can do for yourself is to buy yourself a gift, okay?
Buy yourself a gift every now and then.
No occasion.
Just hey.
I love myself.
I’m going to buy myself something.
And maybe even write a note to yourself and say, I love myself.
I love myself.
Because of whatever you want to put down.
So in relation to buying yourself a gift, you can get premium service instead of standard services, kind of like in a plane you’ve been doing coach for so long, go for first class, spend the extra money on it, and say, you know what?
I love myself.
I’m valuable.
You know what?
I’m going to do something special for myself.
This is what I want to do.
I’m going to upgrade.
Finally.
Forgive yourself.
If anything you’ve done in the past, don’t beat yourself up.
That’s one thing people do who don’t love themselves, they’ll keep beating themselves up.
I did this wrong.
I did that wrong.
I made this mistake.
I made that mistake.
Let that go and stop being negative towards yourself.
Stop being unforgiving.
Forgive yourself, okay?
You’re human.
You f***** up is in the past.
Let yourself off the hook, okay?
You don’t need to keep beat your own a** for this, okay?
And then be positive to yourself.
Say positive affirmations, just like we talked about in meditation and self esteem.
Say some positive things to yourself, write a love letter to yourself, and that’s all I got for you today.
I hope that puts you in the right direction towards recovery.
A lot of these things I follow and I continue to follow on this list here, and it’s worked for me.
And if you got any questions, you can always email me at [email protected] rate, like share, subscribe, all that good stuff.
Thank you for listening to the end and continue to the next one.
So we’ll be talking about self-confidence and also restoring your autonomy.
Bye for now.