Notes
Listen to this episode on Youtube
Religion can cause sexual hang-ups, conflict due to doctrinal differences, mismatched relationships and shame for divorcing and remarriage. Listen to hear the details. Reference link: Can Christians Curse?
Chapters:
- 0:00 Overview
- 0:38 Intro music
- 0:52 Introduction
- 1:43 1: Religion causes sexual hang-ups
- 5:43 2: Doesn’t provide info for success
- 8:02 3: Conflict from doctrinal differences
- 10:46 4: Marital mismatch
- 13:16 What is sexual compatibility
- 15:15 Marrying a homosexual
- 16:36 Married to an unattractive spouse
- 21:36 5: Shame for divorce and remarriage
- 22:18 Pastor deletes his wife
- 23: 34 Remaining alone and lonely
- 24:42 About marriage
- 25:45 Outro and music
Transcript
The five ways religion causes issues within a marriage.
The first one is religion can cause sexual hangups.
Number two, christian religion doesn’t provide the best information for a successful marriage.
Number three, religion can cause a breakup in your marriage due to doctrinal differences.
Number four, religion can cause you to marry the wrong person.
And that’s one of the biggest ones on this list.
Number five, religion will shame you for divorcing and condemn you for remarriage.
Let’s get right into them.
But before we do that all right, we’re back.
What’s up, good people?
This is your host, Neil Rio, and this is the Apostate Apple broadcast.
In this message, I’m going to be breaking down five ways religion causes unfulfillment and unhappiness within a marriage.
And I’m doing this list because I got married when I was religious, when I was a Christian, and it didn’t turn out well.
And many of the things on this list is what was happening in my marriage.
So another shot at religion today.
That’s what this podcast is about.
And I just want to warn people, hey, religion is f***** up.
Religion will f*** your life up.
It will f*** your marriage up.
There is nothing good in religion.
Anything that is good and religion was borrowed from humanity.
All right, so let’s get right into these.
Number one, religion causes sexual hangups in your marriage.
So before you ever get married, they’re even condemning you for masturbating.
They won’t allow you to m********* or they’ll tell you that masturbation is a sin.
And so you feel a lot of guilt when you want to go relieve yourself.
So that can end up leading you not being able to express to your partner how you want to be touched because you don’t know how to touch your own body, you see.
So that’s the first problem.
The another thing that it does, due to sexual repression, you may not be able to fully sexually connect and express yourself.
You’ll feel shame when you do have sex.
You’ll think you’re doing something dirty or wrong.
Even though you’re married, you still have this thing on you of shame.
And so you’ll feel some type of way about sex.
And that’s going to cause your sex life to be another thing you may feel is guilt.
Guilt around actually experiencing high pleasure.
So I’ve heard people say, I was having so much fun and this must be the devil.
An evil spirit got into my bedroom and I can’t do that again.
That was a demon doing that.
I lost control.
No, you just had some good sex, that’s all.
But because you’ve seen sex for so long to be evil, you don’t expect it to be so good and you can’t accept it for being so good.
You’ve been programmed to almost hate sexual pleasure.
So that’s a sad thing, but that’s what’s happening in many marriages.
The worst thing is one of the partners in the relationship is completely sexually repressed, meaning they don’t even have a sex drive.
So here you are on your wedding night, ready to get down, and they just is cold and closed, and it’s like, what’s going on?
Deep sexual repression.
They have no desire to have sex.
Repression has completely pushed away their sex drive.
And they went around talking about the asexual in a marriage.
You cannot be asexual in a marriage, okay?
But this is religion at work, causing misery, unfulfillment and unhappiness and all of that s***, okay?
You may feel like you cannot express yourself because of religion.
You may want some oral pleasure.
You may want to get into some a*** sex.
You may want to try different sexual positions.
You may even want to open up the Kamasutra and some other stuff and in Tantra and all of that.
But you’re told that that’s demonic and that’s sinful.
You can’t get into that, and that’s a real thing.
Back in the day, the Catholic Church would tell people that what they couldn’t do in the bedroom, they had no business in your bedroom.
But here they are talking about what you can’t do in the bedroom.
And so here you are wanting to have oral sex, but your wife is convinced that it’s sinful and she won’t give you no head.
Or you want to give your wife some oral pleasure, but she feels like it’s wrong, so she won’t let you do it.
And the data shows that most women have clitoral o***** more than they have vaginal o*****.
So for her to reject that, she’s rejecting her pleasure.
But why?
Because religion.
So your sex life may become it just may seem like something’s missing because you don’t know anything about sex in some cases.
And if you do know, you just feel like it’s boring and unexciting.
That leads to people cheating, being enticed by somebody that’s actually sexually free, and, you know, so all kind of stuff can happen.
But where is it coming from?
Religion.
And I promise you, in future episodes, we will be talking about why religion hates sex so much.
Number two, Christian religion doesn’t provide the best information for a successful marriage.
So the Bible talks about husbands love your wives, wives submit to your husbands, but they don’t give you a lot of information about the different sexes, how they need to be managed and talked to and handled and understood.
There’s not a lot of information about that in the Bible other than people’s roles.
The woman’s supposed to help the man, and the man is supposed to provide, and we know that.
But how do two people of different energies, masculine and feminine, interact?
There’s no information like that in the Bible.
You have the Song of Solomon, which is an allegorical book of poetry, but that’s not helpful.
And so then you have to end up falling on pastors and people who’ve been married, who are married, and they’re Christian books to find information.
And I remember reading several books prior to me getting married and I don’t remember anything that sparked me and said, man, this is helpful for me.
This is a nugget.
I didn’t know about women or no.
So this is a religion that has a lot of weird belief systems and harmful belief systems.
So how could it help you be successful in marriage?
So there it is another reason why religion is causing issues in your marriage and even talking to people in the church that are married and who’ve been married for a while or a counselor or biblical counselor and stuff like that.
These people don’t have the answers.
They don’t have the answers.
Are there happy couples in the church?
Of course, of course.
But I would say there’s a lot of unhappy couples as well.
I put aside the Christian divorce rate and they try to say that the divorce rate in the church is the same as the secular.
And then the Christians come back and say, no, it’s really like 33% and it’s not as high and I don’t care.
Are people happy though?
Can we take a happiness survey amongst all the Christian wives and Christian husbands and see what they say?
And I will guarantee you it’s probably low happiness, okay.
Because of the religion and amongst other things.
But the religion has to plays a part with it as well.
Number three, religion causes conflict due to doctrinal differences.
So if one spouse has a legalistic pet peeve, something that they practice or believe and the other one doesn’t, that could cause a breakup just from that alone, or at least conflict in the marriage.
Okay?
So here’s an example.
The wife thinks that both the husband and her should wake up and pray in the morning together.
The husband don’t want to do it.
That could become an issue of strife.
Okay?
I got into it with my ex wife early in the marriage about cussing.
She thought that was a sin.
I said no, it’s not.
These words are perfectly okay.
They are acceptable.
They’re nothing but ways to express yourself.
I don’t care what society says about these words.
I don’t care about their censorship of these words.
It’s not wrong, it’s not sensible.
And I actually wrote an article about it and showed in scripture how this is not a problem.
And even though people will use scriptures to try to justify you can’t say certain words, it’s just not true.
But that was something that we argued about and it was a short argument.
It wasn’t like a big thing that went back and forth for years or something, but it was something that happened within a month or so and I had to really show her what it was and she got the understanding after that.
But it’s differences like this that could end a marriage.
Some people are Baptist, somebody might be Pentecostal, and there may be a difference in belief systems.
And they didn’t think about that because they thought, well, we’re both Christian.
I guess we are the same.
We’re equally yoked because we’re both Christians.
But no Baptists are different from Pentecostal in their beliefs.
And that could cause a shift in your relationship where somebody says, I got to leave.
I can’t deal with you, because you believe something different.
And that’s religion once again, and there’s usually some bullshit.
This is not pertaining to your relationship.
It’s a doctrinal thing.
It has nothing to do with your relationship.
Yet here you are about to break up over that.
And the reason why is because the Bible says so.
There are certain things in the Bible talks about depart from them who do this and that.
There’s a difference in belief.
It’s time to separate.
There’s instances where people left their husbands and their wives for the gospel’s sake, and that’s a real thing.
And so here we go.
Religion breaking up something, breaking up a perfectly good marriage because somebody has a difference in belief about God or particular scripture or a certain practice or something like that.
So that’s a big deal.
That’s a problem there.
Number four, religion contributes to marital mismatch.
All right?
This is the biggest one.
Some people’s primary drive to marry is to have sex because sex is prohibited.
Here’s an example of a couple who’s been fooling around, quote unquote they’ve been fornicating.
They’ve been having premarital sex and they feel guilty about it.
And they love having sex together.
They are compatible and they’re just having a good old time.
But they feel guilty, and they feel like if they were dying at sin, they would go to h***.
And so they end up getting married.
Well, they didn’t check whether or not they were socially compatible, whether they had the same principles and values.
They didn’t talk about money, children, kids, et cetera.
None of this because they just rushing to get married because they want to have sex legally under the eyes of God, okay?
And that in itself is religion’s fault.
They jumped into a marriage that wasn’t compatible.
These two people may have been sexually compatible, but everything else was not.
And so here they are divorcing later or they’re having all these problems within the marriage because they’re not fit for one another, okay?
Another way religion contributes to marital mismatch is you can’t test for sexual compatibility.
So back to the sex thing again.
You can’t have sex before marriage, and this includes you can’t kiss.
In some cases, you might even be able to flirt with that person.
You cannot have premarital sex.
You cannot test out the car before you buy it.
So if you can’t do that, you might end up marrying somebody who is sexually incompatible.
Here you are in a relationship and there’s no sparks when you all have sex.
There’s just no sparks.
And I heard something the pastor said and how somebody had mentioned to him that you need to test before you have sex.
You don’t know if you are incompatible or not.
He said if he has a p**** and she has a v*****, they are compatible.
And I believe that.
And here I am in a marriage where I’m having sex, and I’m never having an o*****.
I never had an o***** in my marriage out of seven years.
I ejaculated, but I never had an o***** because I wasn’t sexually compatible with the woman, okay?
It’s nothing on her.
It’s not her problem.
It’s simply I’m not compatible.
Compatibility is two things.
Sexual compatibility is two things.
It’s touch and it’s technique.
This is if you had sex prior, you need to kind of match up what you do in the bedroom with how they receive and how they operate in the bedroom in order for it to be a good sexual match, okay?
Now, sexual compatibility, when it comes to technique, can be altered.
So if you find out your wife like it a certain way, you can change up for that.
But she also has to respect how you get down as well.
Now, the other part of sexual compatibility is touch, and that’s a spiritual thing.
There’s nothing you can do about that.
You cannot change up your touch.
It’s not about what you do.
It’s about the energy between the two of you.
You have a unique signature.
She has a unique signature.
And when you all come together, it’s sparks, okay?
When you touch each other, you hold hands.
When you kiss, when you first enter in, as far as intercourse is concerned, it’s just the sparks.
That’s sexual compatibility.
And that don’t happen for everybody.
It just doesn’t happen for everybody because it’s a spiritual thing.
This person is one way.
The other person is another way.
The energy levels are different, or if you want to call it that, is different.
These things are different.
They don’t match up.
And so when you have sex, you don’t feel nothing.
I kissed my wife the first time on my wedding day.
They did the vows, and I kissed her.
I felt absolutely nothing.
I might as well have been kissing on my own hand.
Like I said, I had sex.
No sparks whatsoever, holding her hand.
I don’t feel nothing.
Now, at the time, I don’t know any of this.
I don’t know anything about sexual compatibility.
I’m believing the bullshit the pastor told me.
You end up with a lame sex partner for life, all because of religion, all right?
Another thing that religion does to mess up a marriage as far as contributing to a mismatch, is you could end up marrying a homosexual.
Back again to sex.
They hate sex before marriage.
They also hate homosexuality as well.
So there are people who will mask their sexual orientation to fit in with their church, to fit into society.
And because they cannot express their homosexuality or their lesbianism or their transgenderism or whatever, they get married and then eventually they end up exposing themselves.
And the wife comes home and the man is with another man, or she catches him wearing her dresses or something like that, or vice versa.
I heard of a pastor’s son whose wife ended up being a lesbian.
She just changed up now.
Did she really change?
No, she was already a lesbian prior to dealing with him.
She just was trying to fulfill her role in society and in her church and trying to fit in.
And because it’s condemned, she can’t express herself.
So she ended up with another woman and left him, and he had to get remarried or something like that.
So that’s what religion did.
All right.
Another thing that religion does and how it causes a mismatch is you may be married to an unattractive spouse.
So this is a big deal.
A lot of people are married to people that they don’t find attractive, and it’s because the Bible talks about spirituality overlooks a lot, and it almost shames people for being shallow or just saying, I’m with this person because they look good.
So you’re kind of pushed to women who are not so attractive.
So let me show you what the Bible says about this, because these are the scriptures I heard, and this is not only a religious thing, but society shames men as well to marry women who they may not find attractive.
There’s something called the body positivity movement, and men are shamed, particularly men who like slim women or women that are considered in shape.
They get shamed when they say, I don’t like fat chicks.
I don’t want to date or marry them.
That’s the thing.
And some of these guys fall for the shame and end up marrying women and these women and find that they’re just not sexually aroused by them and that’s causing them issues.
But let me show you what the scriptures say and how they’re used as well.
There’s two of them, Proverbs 31 30 and Samuel 16 seven.
Proverbs 31 30 is a passage from the chapter where it talks about the virtues woman.
So it gives all these qualities and stuff like that.
And in the last verses it says, charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
And so I’ve heard that scriptures used to suggest that women who are not that attractive in the church should be looked at.
And I mean, by attractive, I’m talking about women who you have a preference for, you know, beauty is in the eye to beholder.
So but women who, you know, you may not find attractive if they’re really religious and they’re active in the church and they deserve to be looked at, and some men will fall for that and accept these women only to find that I’m really not feeling her visually, but they feel shame for even saying that.
So they just deal with it.
Another one.
Here is Samuel, first Samuel, chapter 16, verses seven.
It says, but the Lord said to Samuel, do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him.
The Lord does not look at the things people look at at.
People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.
So here’s a shot at the women you could take.
This is something that women have been given and told that deacon so and so is a good catch because he’s a deacon and he loves the Lord and he has a good job.
But Deakin so and so is five nine, and she want a six foot man and she wants a man that she finds attractive.
She don’t like this guy.
And beyond his height, it may be other qualities she don’t like about.
It’s just not her type.
And I’m not knocking short guys or anything because the average height I think, is five nine anyway, most men are five nine.
So some of these women have these height requirements, and they won’t be filling them if he’s a certain height or whatever.
And I’m not saying that women shouldn’t look at men that’s below those standards, but I’m saying women, as long as a man is taller than you, it should be sufficient, but it’s about what you want.
And here comes a religion telling you, hey, God looks at the heart, people look on the outside.
So you’re not spiritual enough, and you’re rejecting a good man of God if you overlook him, because you need to look at the spiritual side of things.
And so I believe this stuff, and I put aside visual preferences I had and it did not do me well.
So it’s important that people marry people that they find attractive.
And this also can happen to you if you are in an arranged marriage.
And so that’s going to cause issues.
One, you may not be sexually attracted to them.
So because they’re not visually appealing, you can’t really get aroused that much.
So the women, they’re just not that wet.
And the man is just not that aroused.
He’s not that firm.
And so your partner in a relationship should cause you to be excited when you see them.
Women, your p**** should be wet when your man walk in the room.
Men, when your lady walk in the room, your d*** should get hard just a little bit.
Okay?
But unfortunately, religion comes in and kind of shames people away from what their preferences are and says that you should pick somebody you don’t prefer.
And so religion is at it again.
All right, finally, number five, religion will shame you for divorcing and then will condemn you for remarriage.
So we read the scriptures in the podcast about hypocrisy.
I talked about this.
So the Bible says that God hates divorce, so people may stand a relationship.
So they don’t want to sin against God, so they stay in a relationship that’s not healthy for them.
And then there’s scriptures like in Mark chapter ten, verses eleven and twelve, that talk about anybody divorcing cannot get remarried because remarriage is considered adultery against a former spouse.
Now if the person is there, then they’re free to remarry.
And so, unfortunately, I’ve seen stories about this where pastors have killed their wives.
One pastor did it because he just didn’t want the sting of divorce on his record.
So he took his wife out, he put her in a garage and locked her in a car with exhaust coming through the vent some kind of way and killed her that way.
Yeah, it’s f***** up how people can’t just leave their marriage because they feel like God is going to punish them and they don’t want to look bad in front of the church and all that.
These rules.
Once again, I’ve talked about this in the past.
This Bible is restrictive and this is unfair.
People make mistakes.
People change directions in life.
You might grow out of your partner, that’s perfectly okay.
You should be able to leave that relationship and get somebody else.
If you make a mistake and marry the wrong person, you should be able to leave that relationship and get somebody else.
But here come the religion keeping you stuck in that relationship.
And that’s the worst suffering you can one of the worst suffering you can deal with to be in a marriage with somebody who is not compatible with you.
Another way is to be lonely, to submit to the scriptures and stay alone for the rest of your life because you can’t get remarried because that’s considered adultery.
So you’re not you alone with nobody.
And unfortunately, like I said, I’ve taught this.
And one of my biggest regrets in ministry is teaching this.
What the Bible said about divorce and remarriage.
And I’ve seen testimonies on YouTube where a lady, she broke up with her husband because she realized, wait a minute, he was remarried or she was remarried or something like that.
And so they had a perfectly good relationship and they broke up because they wanted to honor the scripture.
So now she’s living single for the rest of her days until that man dies.
You know, she got to stay single.
And so all her needs of affection and comfort and sex, they can’t be fulfilled because of some dumbass scripture in the Bible.
So religion, religion, religion, particularly Christianity today, we’re talking about f**** up marriages.
It f**** them up.
And this ain’t right.
So the truth is this.
Now let’s get this down.
Sex is the most beautiful thing you can experience with someone and it should not be suppressed.
Both sexes should know everything there is to know about the opposite sex before committing to a long term relationship.
And if religion claims to be the moral standard and the avenue to success in life, they should be teaching these things.
And it should be a high success rate within Christian marriages, but we don’t see that.
Another thing is the relationships are fluid.
So if one partner changes directions or you’ve discovered that you’ve made a mistake in marrying a person, you should be able to break up that union instead of enduring one of the worst suffering known to man, which is to be in a relationship with somebody who is not compatible with you.
Once again, like I said, religion is a f*** up.
It’s a hindrance.
It is one reason why people’s marriages are unhappy and unfulfilled and all that stuff.
So rate this podcast like it?
Share it, subscribe comment email me at [email protected] if you got questions.
I appreciate you for listening to the end.
And remember, once again, there is nothing good in religion.
Anything good was copied from humanity.
Until next time, have a blessed day.