{"id":556,"date":"2022-08-31T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2022-08-31T16:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.blubrry.com\/apostate_apple\/89025887\/5-ways-religion-causes-misery-in-a-marriage\/"},"modified":"2022-08-31T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2022-08-31T16:00:00","slug":"5-ways-religion-causes-misery-in-a-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nealreal.com\/aa\/5-ways-religion-causes-misery-in-a-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Ways Religion Causes Misery in a Marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Religion can cause sexual hang-ups, conflict due to doctrinal differences, mismatched relationships and shame for divorcing and remarriage. Listen to hear the details. Reference link: <a href=\"https:\/\/letspleasegod.com\/christians-can-cuss\/index.htm\">Can Christians Curse?<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Chapters:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>0:00 Overview<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>0:38 Intro music<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>0:52 Introduction<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>1:43 1: Religion causes sexual hang-ups<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>5:43 2: Doesn&#8217;t provide info for success<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>8:02 3: Conflict from doctrinal differences<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>10:46 4: Marital mismatch<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>13:16 What is sexual compatibility<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>15:15 Marrying a homosexual<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>16:36 Married to an unattractive spouse<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>21:36 5: Shame for divorce and remarriage<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>22:18 Pastor deletes his wife<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>23: 34 Remaining alone and lonely<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>24:42 About marriage<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>25:45 Outro and music<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Religion can cause sexual hang-ups, conflict due to doctrinal differences, mismatched relationships and shame for divorcing and remarriage. Listen to hear the details. Reference link: Can Christians Curse? Chapters:<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-556","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sex"],"acf":{"file_name":"aa-ep05-religious-marriage","duration":"28:23","ep_num":5,"file_size":24,"transcript_content":"The five ways religion causes issues within a marriage.\n\nThe first one is religion can cause sexual hangups.\n\nNumber two, christian religion doesn't provide the best information for a successful marriage.\n\nNumber three, religion can cause a breakup in your marriage due to doctrinal differences.\n\nNumber four, religion can cause you to marry the wrong person.\n\nAnd that's one of the biggest ones on this list.\n\nNumber five, religion will shame you for divorcing and condemn you for remarriage.\n\nLet's get right into them.\n\nBut before we do that all right, we're back.\n\nWhat's up, good people?\n\nThis is your host, Neil Rio, and this is the Apostate Apple broadcast.\n\nIn this message, I'm going to be breaking down five ways religion causes unfulfillment and unhappiness within a marriage.\n\nAnd I'm doing this list because I got married when I was religious, when I was a Christian, and it didn't turn out well.\n\nAnd many of the things on this list is what was happening in my marriage.\n\nSo another shot at religion today.\n\nThat's what this podcast is about.\n\nAnd I just want to warn people, hey, religion is f***** up.\n\nReligion will f*** your life up.\n\nIt will f*** your marriage up.\n\nThere is nothing good in religion.\n\nAnything that is good and religion was borrowed from humanity.\n\nAll right, so let's get right into these.\n\nNumber one, religion causes sexual hangups in your marriage.\n\nSo before you ever get married, they're even condemning you for masturbating.\n\nThey won't allow you to m********* or they'll tell you that masturbation is a sin.\n\nAnd so you feel a lot of guilt when you want to go relieve yourself.\n\nSo that can end up leading you not being able to express to your partner how you want to be touched because you don't know how to touch your own body, you see.\n\nSo that's the first problem.\n\nThe another thing that it does, due to sexual repression, you may not be able to fully sexually connect and express yourself.\n\nYou'll feel shame when you do have sex.\n\nYou'll think you're doing something dirty or wrong.\n\nEven though you're married, you still have this thing on you of shame.\n\nAnd so you'll feel some type of way about sex.\n\nAnd that's going to cause your sex life to be another thing you may feel is guilt.\n\nGuilt around actually experiencing high pleasure.\n\nSo I've heard people say, I was having so much fun and this must be the devil.\n\nAn evil spirit got into my bedroom and I can't do that again.\n\nThat was a demon doing that.\n\nI lost control.\n\nNo, you just had some good sex, that's all.\n\nBut because you've seen sex for so long to be evil, you don't expect it to be so good and you can't accept it for being so good.\n\nYou've been programmed to almost hate sexual pleasure.\n\nSo that's a sad thing, but that's what's happening in many marriages.\n\nThe worst thing is one of the partners in the relationship is completely sexually repressed, meaning they don't even have a sex drive.\n\nSo here you are on your wedding night, ready to get down, and they just is cold and closed, and it's like, what's going on?\n\nDeep sexual repression.\n\nThey have no desire to have sex.\n\nRepression has completely pushed away their sex drive.\n\nAnd they went around talking about the asexual in a marriage.\n\nYou cannot be asexual in a marriage, okay?\n\nBut this is religion at work, causing misery, unfulfillment and unhappiness and all of that s***, okay?\n\nYou may feel like you cannot express yourself because of religion.\n\nYou may want some oral pleasure.\n\nYou may want to get into some a*** sex.\n\nYou may want to try different sexual positions.\n\nYou may even want to open up the Kamasutra and some other stuff and in Tantra and all of that.\n\nBut you're told that that's demonic and that's sinful.\n\nYou can't get into that, and that's a real thing.\n\nBack in the day, the Catholic Church would tell people that what they couldn't do in the bedroom, they had no business in your bedroom.\n\nBut here they are talking about what you can't do in the bedroom.\n\nAnd so here you are wanting to have oral sex, but your wife is convinced that it's sinful and she won't give you no head.\n\nOr you want to give your wife some oral pleasure, but she feels like it's wrong, so she won't let you do it.\n\nAnd the data shows that most women have clitoral o***** more than they have vaginal o*****.\n\nSo for her to reject that, she's rejecting her pleasure.\n\nBut why?\n\nBecause religion.\n\nSo your sex life may become it just may seem like something's missing because you don't know anything about sex in some cases.\n\nAnd if you do know, you just feel like it's boring and unexciting.\n\nThat leads to people cheating, being enticed by somebody that's actually sexually free, and, you know, so all kind of stuff can happen.\n\nBut where is it coming from?\n\nReligion.\n\nAnd I promise you, in future episodes, we will be talking about why religion hates sex so much.\n\nNumber two, Christian religion doesn't provide the best information for a successful marriage.\n\nSo the Bible talks about husbands love your wives, wives submit to your husbands, but they don't give you a lot of information about the different sexes, how they need to be managed and talked to and handled and understood.\n\nThere's not a lot of information about that in the Bible other than people's roles.\n\nThe woman's supposed to help the man, and the man is supposed to provide, and we know that.\n\nBut how do two people of different energies, masculine and feminine, interact?\n\nThere's no information like that in the Bible.\n\nYou have the Song of Solomon, which is an allegorical book of poetry, but that's not helpful.\n\nAnd so then you have to end up falling on pastors and people who've been married, who are married, and they're Christian books to find information.\n\nAnd I remember reading several books prior to me getting married and I don't remember anything that sparked me and said, man, this is helpful for me.\n\nThis is a nugget.\n\nI didn't know about women or no.\n\nSo this is a religion that has a lot of weird belief systems and harmful belief systems.\n\nSo how could it help you be successful in marriage?\n\nSo there it is another reason why religion is causing issues in your marriage and even talking to people in the church that are married and who've been married for a while or a counselor or biblical counselor and stuff like that.\n\nThese people don't have the answers.\n\nThey don't have the answers.\n\nAre there happy couples in the church?\n\nOf course, of course.\n\nBut I would say there's a lot of unhappy couples as well.\n\nI put aside the Christian divorce rate and they try to say that the divorce rate in the church is the same as the secular.\n\nAnd then the Christians come back and say, no, it's really like 33% and it's not as high and I don't care.\n\nAre people happy though?\n\nCan we take a happiness survey amongst all the Christian wives and Christian husbands and see what they say?\n\nAnd I will guarantee you it's probably low happiness, okay.\n\nBecause of the religion and amongst other things.\n\nBut the religion has to plays a part with it as well.\n\nNumber three, religion causes conflict due to doctrinal differences.\n\nSo if one spouse has a legalistic pet peeve, something that they practice or believe and the other one doesn't, that could cause a breakup just from that alone, or at least conflict in the marriage.\n\nOkay?\n\nSo here's an example.\n\nThe wife thinks that both the husband and her should wake up and pray in the morning together.\n\nThe husband don't want to do it.\n\nThat could become an issue of strife.\n\nOkay?\n\nI got into it with my ex wife early in the marriage about cussing.\n\nShe thought that was a sin.\n\nI said no, it's not.\n\nThese words are perfectly okay.\n\nThey are acceptable.\n\nThey're nothing but ways to express yourself.\n\nI don't care what society says about these words.\n\nI don't care about their censorship of these words.\n\nIt's not wrong, it's not sensible.\n\nAnd I actually wrote an article about it and showed in scripture how this is not a problem.\n\nAnd even though people will use scriptures to try to justify you can't say certain words, it's just not true.\n\nBut that was something that we argued about and it was a short argument.\n\nIt wasn't like a big thing that went back and forth for years or something, but it was something that happened within a month or so and I had to really show her what it was and she got the understanding after that.\n\nBut it's differences like this that could end a marriage.\n\nSome people are Baptist, somebody might be Pentecostal, and there may be a difference in belief systems.\n\nAnd they didn't think about that because they thought, well, we're both Christian.\n\nI guess we are the same.\n\nWe're equally yoked because we're both Christians.\n\nBut no Baptists are different from Pentecostal in their beliefs.\n\nAnd that could cause a shift in your relationship where somebody says, I got to leave.\n\nI can't deal with you, because you believe something different.\n\nAnd that's religion once again, and there's usually some bullshit.\n\nThis is not pertaining to your relationship.\n\nIt's a doctrinal thing.\n\nIt has nothing to do with your relationship.\n\nYet here you are about to break up over that.\n\nAnd the reason why is because the Bible says so.\n\nThere are certain things in the Bible talks about depart from them who do this and that.\n\nThere's a difference in belief.\n\nIt's time to separate.\n\nThere's instances where people left their husbands and their wives for the gospel's sake, and that's a real thing.\n\nAnd so here we go.\n\nReligion breaking up something, breaking up a perfectly good marriage because somebody has a difference in belief about God or particular scripture or a certain practice or something like that.\n\nSo that's a big deal.\n\nThat's a problem there.\n\nNumber four, religion contributes to marital mismatch.\n\nAll right?\n\nThis is the biggest one.\n\nSome people's primary drive to marry is to have sex because sex is prohibited.\n\nHere's an example of a couple who's been fooling around, quote unquote they've been fornicating.\n\nThey've been having premarital sex and they feel guilty about it.\n\nAnd they love having sex together.\n\nThey are compatible and they're just having a good old time.\n\nBut they feel guilty, and they feel like if they were dying at sin, they would go to h***.\n\nAnd so they end up getting married.\n\nWell, they didn't check whether or not they were socially compatible, whether they had the same principles and values.\n\nThey didn't talk about money, children, kids, et cetera.\n\nNone of this because they just rushing to get married because they want to have sex legally under the eyes of God, okay?\n\nAnd that in itself is religion's fault.\n\nThey jumped into a marriage that wasn't compatible.\n\nThese two people may have been sexually compatible, but everything else was not.\n\nAnd so here they are divorcing later or they're having all these problems within the marriage because they're not fit for one another, okay?\n\nAnother way religion contributes to marital mismatch is you can't test for sexual compatibility.\n\nSo back to the sex thing again.\n\nYou can't have sex before marriage, and this includes you can't kiss.\n\nIn some cases, you might even be able to flirt with that person.\n\nYou cannot have premarital sex.\n\nYou cannot test out the car before you buy it.\n\nSo if you can't do that, you might end up marrying somebody who is sexually incompatible.\n\nHere you are in a relationship and there's no sparks when you all have sex.\n\nThere's just no sparks.\n\nAnd I heard something the pastor said and how somebody had mentioned to him that you need to test before you have sex.\n\nYou don't know if you are incompatible or not.\n\nHe said if he has a p**** and she has a v*****, they are compatible.\n\nAnd I believe that.\n\nAnd here I am in a marriage where I'm having sex, and I'm never having an o*****.\n\nI never had an o***** in my marriage out of seven years.\n\nI ejaculated, but I never had an o***** because I wasn't sexually compatible with the woman, okay?\n\nIt's nothing on her.\n\nIt's not her problem.\n\nIt's simply I'm not compatible.\n\nCompatibility is two things.\n\nSexual compatibility is two things.\n\nIt's touch and it's technique.\n\nThis is if you had sex prior, you need to kind of match up what you do in the bedroom with how they receive and how they operate in the bedroom in order for it to be a good sexual match, okay?\n\nNow, sexual compatibility, when it comes to technique, can be altered.\n\nSo if you find out your wife like it a certain way, you can change up for that.\n\nBut she also has to respect how you get down as well.\n\nNow, the other part of sexual compatibility is touch, and that's a spiritual thing.\n\nThere's nothing you can do about that.\n\nYou cannot change up your touch.\n\nIt's not about what you do.\n\nIt's about the energy between the two of you.\n\nYou have a unique signature.\n\nShe has a unique signature.\n\nAnd when you all come together, it's sparks, okay?\n\nWhen you touch each other, you hold hands.\n\nWhen you kiss, when you first enter in, as far as intercourse is concerned, it's just the sparks.\n\nThat's sexual compatibility.\n\nAnd that don't happen for everybody.\n\nIt just doesn't happen for everybody because it's a spiritual thing.\n\nThis person is one way.\n\nThe other person is another way.\n\nThe energy levels are different, or if you want to call it that, is different.\n\nThese things are different.\n\nThey don't match up.\n\nAnd so when you have sex, you don't feel nothing.\n\nI kissed my wife the first time on my wedding day.\n\nThey did the vows, and I kissed her.\n\nI felt absolutely nothing.\n\nI might as well have been kissing on my own hand.\n\nLike I said, I had sex.\n\nNo sparks whatsoever, holding her hand.\n\nI don't feel nothing.\n\nNow, at the time, I don't know any of this.\n\nI don't know anything about sexual compatibility.\n\nI'm believing the bullshit the pastor told me.\n\nYou end up with a lame sex partner for life, all because of religion, all right?\n\nAnother thing that religion does to mess up a marriage as far as contributing to a mismatch, is you could end up marrying a homosexual.\n\nBack again to sex.\n\nThey hate sex before marriage.\n\nThey also hate homosexuality as well.\n\nSo there are people who will mask their sexual orientation to fit in with their church, to fit into society.\n\nAnd because they cannot express their homosexuality or their lesbianism or their transgenderism or whatever, they get married and then eventually they end up exposing themselves.\n\nAnd the wife comes home and the man is with another man, or she catches him wearing her dresses or something like that, or vice versa.\n\nI heard of a pastor's son whose wife ended up being a lesbian.\n\nShe just changed up now.\n\nDid she really change?\n\nNo, she was already a lesbian prior to dealing with him.\n\nShe just was trying to fulfill her role in society and in her church and trying to fit in.\n\nAnd because it's condemned, she can't express herself.\n\nSo she ended up with another woman and left him, and he had to get remarried or something like that.\n\nSo that's what religion did.\n\nAll right.\n\nAnother thing that religion does and how it causes a mismatch is you may be married to an unattractive spouse.\n\nSo this is a big deal.\n\nA lot of people are married to people that they don't find attractive, and it's because the Bible talks about spirituality overlooks a lot, and it almost shames people for being shallow or just saying, I'm with this person because they look good.\n\nSo you're kind of pushed to women who are not so attractive.\n\nSo let me show you what the Bible says about this, because these are the scriptures I heard, and this is not only a religious thing, but society shames men as well to marry women who they may not find attractive.\n\nThere's something called the body positivity movement, and men are shamed, particularly men who like slim women or women that are considered in shape.\n\nThey get shamed when they say, I don't like fat chicks.\n\nI don't want to date or marry them.\n\nThat's the thing.\n\nAnd some of these guys fall for the shame and end up marrying women and these women and find that they're just not sexually aroused by them and that's causing them issues.\n\nBut let me show you what the scriptures say and how they're used as well.\n\nThere's two of them, Proverbs 31 30 and Samuel 16 seven.\n\nProverbs 31 30 is a passage from the chapter where it talks about the virtues woman.\n\nSo it gives all these qualities and stuff like that.\n\nAnd in the last verses it says, charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.\n\nAnd so I've heard that scriptures used to suggest that women who are not that attractive in the church should be looked at.\n\nAnd I mean, by attractive, I'm talking about women who you have a preference for, you know, beauty is in the eye to beholder.\n\nSo but women who, you know, you may not find attractive if they're really religious and they're active in the church and they deserve to be looked at, and some men will fall for that and accept these women only to find that I'm really not feeling her visually, but they feel shame for even saying that.\n\nSo they just deal with it.\n\nAnother one.\n\nHere is Samuel, first Samuel, chapter 16, verses seven.\n\nIt says, but the Lord said to Samuel, do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him.\n\nThe Lord does not look at the things people look at at.\n\nPeople look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.\n\nSo here's a shot at the women you could take.\n\nThis is something that women have been given and told that deacon so and so is a good catch because he's a deacon and he loves the Lord and he has a good job.\n\nBut Deakin so and so is five nine, and she want a six foot man and she wants a man that she finds attractive.\n\nShe don't like this guy.\n\nAnd beyond his height, it may be other qualities she don't like about.\n\nIt's just not her type.\n\nAnd I'm not knocking short guys or anything because the average height I think, is five nine anyway, most men are five nine.\n\nSo some of these women have these height requirements, and they won't be filling them if he's a certain height or whatever.\n\nAnd I'm not saying that women shouldn't look at men that's below those standards, but I'm saying women, as long as a man is taller than you, it should be sufficient, but it's about what you want.\n\nAnd here comes a religion telling you, hey, God looks at the heart, people look on the outside.\n\nSo you're not spiritual enough, and you're rejecting a good man of God if you overlook him, because you need to look at the spiritual side of things.\n\nAnd so I believe this stuff, and I put aside visual preferences I had and it did not do me well.\n\nSo it's important that people marry people that they find attractive.\n\nAnd this also can happen to you if you are in an arranged marriage.\n\nAnd so that's going to cause issues.\n\nOne, you may not be sexually attracted to them.\n\nSo because they're not visually appealing, you can't really get aroused that much.\n\nSo the women, they're just not that wet.\n\nAnd the man is just not that aroused.\n\nHe's not that firm.\n\nAnd so your partner in a relationship should cause you to be excited when you see them.\n\nWomen, your p**** should be wet when your man walk in the room.\n\nMen, when your lady walk in the room, your d*** should get hard just a little bit.\n\nOkay?\n\nBut unfortunately, religion comes in and kind of shames people away from what their preferences are and says that you should pick somebody you don't prefer.\n\nAnd so religion is at it again.\n\nAll right, finally, number five, religion will shame you for divorcing and then will condemn you for remarriage.\n\nSo we read the scriptures in the podcast about hypocrisy.\n\nI talked about this.\n\nSo the Bible says that God hates divorce, so people may stand a relationship.\n\nSo they don't want to sin against God, so they stay in a relationship that's not healthy for them.\n\nAnd then there's scriptures like in Mark chapter ten, verses eleven and twelve, that talk about anybody divorcing cannot get remarried because remarriage is considered adultery against a former spouse.\n\nNow if the person is there, then they're free to remarry.\n\nAnd so, unfortunately, I've seen stories about this where pastors have killed their wives.\n\nOne pastor did it because he just didn't want the sting of divorce on his record.\n\nSo he took his wife out, he put her in a garage and locked her in a car with exhaust coming through the vent some kind of way and killed her that way.\n\nYeah, it's f***** up how people can't just leave their marriage because they feel like God is going to punish them and they don't want to look bad in front of the church and all that.\n\nThese rules.\n\nOnce again, I've talked about this in the past.\n\nThis Bible is restrictive and this is unfair.\n\nPeople make mistakes.\n\nPeople change directions in life.\n\nYou might grow out of your partner, that's perfectly okay.\n\nYou should be able to leave that relationship and get somebody else.\n\nIf you make a mistake and marry the wrong person, you should be able to leave that relationship and get somebody else.\n\nBut here come the religion keeping you stuck in that relationship.\n\nAnd that's the worst suffering you can one of the worst suffering you can deal with to be in a marriage with somebody who is not compatible with you.\n\nAnother way is to be lonely, to submit to the scriptures and stay alone for the rest of your life because you can't get remarried because that's considered adultery.\n\nSo you're not you alone with nobody.\n\nAnd unfortunately, like I said, I've taught this.\n\nAnd one of my biggest regrets in ministry is teaching this.\n\nWhat the Bible said about divorce and remarriage.\n\nAnd I've seen testimonies on YouTube where a lady, she broke up with her husband because she realized, wait a minute, he was remarried or she was remarried or something like that.\n\nAnd so they had a perfectly good relationship and they broke up because they wanted to honor the scripture.\n\nSo now she's living single for the rest of her days until that man dies.\n\nYou know, she got to stay single.\n\nAnd so all her needs of affection and comfort and sex, they can't be fulfilled because of some dumbass scripture in the Bible.\n\nSo religion, religion, religion, particularly Christianity today, we're talking about f**** up marriages.\n\nIt f**** them up.\n\nAnd this ain't right.\n\nSo the truth is this.\n\nNow let's get this down.\n\nSex is the most beautiful thing you can experience with someone and it should not be suppressed.\n\nBoth sexes should know everything there is to know about the opposite sex before committing to a long term relationship.\n\nAnd if religion claims to be the moral standard and the avenue to success in life, they should be teaching these things.\n\nAnd it should be a high success rate within Christian marriages, but we don't see that.\n\nAnother thing is the relationships are fluid.\n\nSo if one partner changes directions or you've discovered that you've made a mistake in marrying a person, you should be able to break up that union instead of enduring one of the worst suffering known to man, which is to be in a relationship with somebody who is not compatible with you.\n\nOnce again, like I said, religion is a f*** up.\n\nIt's a hindrance.\n\nIt is one reason why people's marriages are unhappy and unfulfilled and all that stuff.\n\nSo rate this podcast like it?\n\nShare it, subscribe comment email me at neil@nealreal.com if you got questions.\n\nI appreciate you for listening to the end.\n\nAnd remember, once again, there is nothing good in religion.\n\nAnything good was copied from humanity.\n\nUntil next time, have a blessed 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