In this episode, I share seven ways you can begin to heal from sexual repression. Healing is a journey that requires determination, patience with yourself, and support from others. The following timestamps have been placed below for your convenience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chapters:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In this episode, I share seven ways you can begin to heal from sexual repression. Healing is a journey that requires determination, patience with yourself, and support from others. The following timestamps have been placed below for your convenience. Chapters:<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-553","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-how-to","category-sex"],"acf":{"file_name":"aa-ep08-sexual-repression-pt2","duration":"28:04","ep_num":8,"file_size":24,"transcript_content":"What's up, good people?\n\nThis is your host, Neil Rio, and this is the Apostate Apple broadcast.\n\nToday we're following up with our talk about sexual repression.\n\nAnd in this broadcast, I'll be sharing seven steps to heal from sexual repression.\n\nNow, here's a few things you need to understand before we get into this list here.\n\nIt's important to identify where these sexual repressive ideas came from.\n\nNow, I mentioned a lot of them, the origins of them in my last broadcast, but it's good to know the origins of where things came from.\n\nIn the cases of rape and molestation, you should invest in a good psychotherapist or a sex therapist as well.\n\nIf you can't afford therapy, you can always read books and articles online and watch YouTube videos on the subject.\n\nIt's important to be kind to yourself throughout this process.\n\nDon't judge yourself for your sexual appetites.\n\nYou may think that you're homosexual, you may think you might be trans or whatever, but it's important to accept your sexuality and any kinks and fetishes you may have about yourself.\n\nOkay?\n\nYou may think it's weird, or you may think I would encourage you to type it in online and see if somebody else is involved in that.\n\nBut most people are the same.\n\nWe just have to find our category and our group.\n\nSo you're not alone.\n\nStart slow, but keep moving and never give up, okay?\n\nYour sexuality is very important.\n\nIt's a part of you.\n\nSo you need to get that back up and running properly.\n\nBe patient with yourself.\n\nHealing takes time.\n\nWith that said, let's get right into it.\n\nBut before we do that, okay, we're back.\n\nSo let's get into this list here.\n\nNumber one.\n\nStart loving yourself and your body.\n\nBecause of sexual repression, you may have a negative view of your body.\n\nAnd so it's important to start to love your body.\n\nSo first thing you can do is just start respecting yourself and accepting yourself as you are.\n\nYour body type, your hair, your skin tone.\n\nStart to love yourself.\n\nSo that means to eat right, take baths and showers, have some good hygiene exercise.\n\nYou're just trying to love yourself and saying, my body is missing.\n\nMy body, I love it, I'm going to take care of it.\n\nI'm not going to feel bad about it.\n\nI'm not going to look at it as something that is unworthy.\n\nYou're now saying, I am worthy.\n\nSo now you're going to be taking care of your body.\n\nAnother thing you can do is get used to looking at yourself naked.\n\nAll right?\n\nSo once you get out the shower, maybe you sleep naked, get up and walk around naked.\n\nWalk around your apartment or your house naked, privately if you're married and that's what you all want to do, you all both can do that.\n\nYou can walk around, but it's just getting used to you looking at your own body and accepting it.\n\nI don't care what size you are, or if you're skinny or fat or whatever.\n\nThese are all suggestions, by the way.\n\nYou can choose what works for you, what's comfortable for you, but these are ways of returning back to us a normal state of sexuality.\n\nAnother thing you can do is to wear expressive clothing.\n\nThis could be you start to dress the way you want to dress, instead of from a conservative perspective.\n\nMaybe you start to buy clothes that really express who you are.\n\nBut the other way of looking at this is you wear clothes that are form fitting, that support and highlight your features.\n\nSo if you're a woman with large breasts, you could start wearing low cut tops.\n\nIf you got a large behind or some thick thighs, or you got a nice stomach, or you got a nice neck in the back or legs, you can emphasize that by different clothing.\n\nOkay?\n\nMen as well.\n\nIf you got broad shoulders, you can wear start wearing suits and you got muscles.\n\nIt doesn't matter.\n\nAnd I want to be clear, you don't have to have this great physique or whatever.\n\nAnd once again, like I said before in my last broadcast, there are people online on Instagram right now because they're sexually confident and they've decided to love themselves.\n\nThey got tons of followers, they got tons of people interested in them, tons of people sexually desiring them, and they don't necessarily fit the standard of beauty, but it's the internal person that people are feeling.\n\nIt's that spirit within them that is confident enough to get on Instagram and to say, this is who I am.\n\nI like what I look like, and you're going to accept it.\n\nAnd so it doesn't matter your size, it doesn't matter your skin tone, hair texture, whatever.\n\nAll right, you can wear cologne and perfume.\n\nThat's an addition to your body.\n\nYou're emphasizing how you smell.\n\nNow you're getting into colognes and perfumes and stuff.\n\nGet your hair cut as a man or as a woman.\n\nGet your hair done.\n\nStart loving yourself and how you look and get hairstyles and things like that.\n\nThis is all about loving yourself.\n\nNext thing you can do is pamper yourself.\n\nSo get a massage here and there.\n\nMassages are really good, not just for making you feel good, but also moving around different energy in your body that might be stagnant.\n\nIt's a real health thing, and a lot of people should be getting massages because it's a real health thing.\n\nIt should be a part of your weekly routine, I would say, or monthly routine.\n\nWine and dine yourself.\n\nPick a time every month or every week or whenever you feel to take yourself out.\n\nIf you're not if you don't have a partner, and just go out there and go to the best restaurant that you like.\n\nIf you like restaurants and treat yourself, buy yourself flowers for no occasion other than you love yourself.\n\nOkay?\n\nAnybody listening to this that come from religion will hear this man is freaking lovers of self rather than lovers of God and all of that.\n\nWell, you're going to have to let go of all of that.\n\nYou should love yourself.\n\nSo this is a very important thing that you should be doing.\n\nAnd I buy myself flowers.\n\nDo whatever it takes to make yourself feel sexy and comfortable in your own skin, all right?\n\nThat's the first thing.\n\nStart loving yourself in your body.\n\nNumber two on the list here is to engage in creative activities.\n\nCreative and sexual energy come from the same place.\n\nYou can cultivate one and it will stimulate the other, right?\n\nSo for women, you can try belly dancing.\n\nIt's very sexual and it opens you up as a woman and gets you back in tune with your sexuality.\n\nOnce again, these are all suggestions, but they work, okay?\n\nFor men and women, you can try salsa dancing, which is also a sexual dance, all right?\n\nAnd it requires both men and women to play their part.\n\nA man leading, the woman following.\n\nSay, this is how sex works.\n\nAnd so now you're doing that through dance.\n\nYou can express yourself through art.\n\nSo you can paint.\n\nYou ain't got to be a painter.\n\nYou ain't got to be some grandiose person.\n\nJust get an easel, get some paints, and start just creating something.\n\nDon't matter what it is.\n\nJust create something.\n\nYou can also go to a Sculpting class, make you some bowls and some vibes for your flowers that you go by yourself.\n\nDancing.\n\nAs I mentioned earlier, you don't even have to be salsa dancing.\n\nYou can just hip hop dancing or break dancing, anything that makes you feel good and active, where you're moving your hips and you're alive.\n\nSinging.\n\nIf you used to sing, if you can't sing, sing.\n\nThese are all suggestions, okay?\n\nBut they open you up your creativity.\n\nWrite a song if you want.\n\nWrite some poetry.\n\nWrite down how you feel about sex and what you want to see what your sexual desires are.\n\nLet's say that journal about your sexual experiences.\n\nStart journaling about your journey from being sexually repressed to now.\n\nAnd keep a log of that, okay?\n\nNumber three, explore that which was forbidden or taboo.\n\nSo in church, they told you you couldn't do a lot of stuff, but go to the strip club as a man or as a woman.\n\nJust go.\n\nYou used to think that was taboo, and you can't do that.\n\nThat's wrong.\n\nJust go in there, sit down, and have a good time.\n\nYou ain't got to get no lap dance.\n\nJust go in there.\n\nIt's sexual in there.\n\nStart going places where you felt like it was so uncomfortable.\n\nGet past your comfort zone and just come in there and sit down.\n\nYou see?\n\nNow, if you feel like you're homosexual or you feel like you're part of the LGBT community, visit some of their communities.\n\nVisit some of their rallies.\n\nFind out where they're located in your city or state and start hanging out with those people.\n\nIf you think you're part of that community.\n\nOnce again, I was taboo.\n\nAnytime the Christians show up at a rally, it was the protest against the homosexual community.\n\nSo now you're in the parade.\n\nThat's what you into.\n\nThat's what you're into.\n\nAll right.\n\nExplore a sex store.\n\nYou can go to Adam and Eve.\n\nI know they have those in this state.\n\nIt might be another brand company that sells sex toys and a lot of sex related products and stuff like that.\n\nGo in there and just explore what they have.\n\nYou ain't got to buy nothing.\n\nLook at the erotic material that they have.\n\nThe toys, the ornaments and things you could buy or something like that.\n\nWatch erotic movies.\n\nOnce again, you were told you couldn't do this.\n\nNow you're exploring everything.\n\nThis is going to be fun.\n\nAll right, watch p***.\n\nErotic movies are different from p***.\n\nLook at both of them.\n\nAnd while you're there, learn the difference between erotica and p***.\n\nListen to erotic songs.\n\nAll those songs your mother told you you couldn't listen to.\n\nPull them up.\n\nAll those songs about sex, pull them up and start listening to them.\n\nListen to erotic podcasts.\n\nThere are podcasts out there that talk about sex a lot.\n\nThey may be talking about different sex positions.\n\nThey may be telling stories that are arousing.\n\nListen to that stuff, okay?\n\nYou're just trying to get back into sex the way it should be.\n\nAll right?\n\nRead erotica.\n\nThere are websites you can do a search for stories where they just tell us an erotic story.\n\nIf somebody met somebody, then they did this, they did that.\n\nThey were having sex.\n\nThey did this.\n\nI've read some of those blogs.\n\nI used to every now and then, check out what was on there.\n\nSo there's tons of websites out there that have erotic stories that you can read.\n\nAnd just to see that sex is just a normal part of life.\n\nIt's no different from eating and walking.\n\nIt's what we do as human beings.\n\nThere's nothing wrong with it.\n\nRead material on how to have better sex or be better at sex.\n\nI have several books on sex.\n\nI got the kamasutra.\n\nI got another book called the kunyatsa, which is all about the female pleasure.\n\nI have a book about the holy o*****.\n\nI forget the name of it directly, but these are things that you can explore and look into by sensual artwork if you want to go that far.\n\nOkay?\n\nOr figurines or ornaments and posters and prints.\n\nI have a poster on my wall of the kamasutra.\n\nThey got 50 different sex poses on that poster.\n\nThey're mostly stick figure, but it's it's just a way for me to see this is normal.\n\nThat's what you can do.\n\nBegin to explore what is taboo.\n\nAll right, number four.\n\nExplore yourself and learn your body.\n\nSo now we're getting into masturbation.\n\nYou're not necessarily with anybody.\n\nThis is just you.\n\nYou have to do this by yourself, okay?\n\nYou're going to deal with a partner later on, but for right now, begin to m*********.\n\nLearn to pleasure yourself.\n\nFigure out what makes you feel good, okay?\n\nIf you went to that sex shop like I suggested, you might have bought some sex toys.\n\nBy the way, all this is for men and women, by the way.\n\nSo there are sex toys for men.\n\nThere's like something called the Flesh light.\n\nThere's things that will stimulate the prostate in the man.\n\nFor women.\n\nThere's tons of vibrators out there and d***** and creams that stimulate the c*******.\n\nIt's a lot of stuff out there.\n\nYou can get a lot of stuff from these sex shops like Adam and Eve and places like that.\n\nAnd while you're doing this, you're just getting in tune with yourself.\n\nPay attention to what you like and how you feel, okay?\n\nJust stay in the moment.\n\nBe in the moment.\n\nFocus on how you feel.\n\nYou don't want to be thinking about the future, the past, or anything, or this is silly.\n\nNo, this is about you pleasuring yourself, making sure you find what is appropriate for you, what makes you feel good.\n\nThis is what you're doing, all right?\n\nAnd you'll find yourself having a good old time just with yourself.\n\nYou are your first sexual partner, and you should be in tune with that person before you have sex with somebody else.\n\nAnd also encourage you to m********* without pornography.\n\nSo p*** can be very arousing, and it leads you to m*********, but it's important to also m********* without pornography so that you can get into your own mind, in your own body, and connect and stimulate yourself that way.\n\nAll right, number five, flirt with the opposite sex.\n\nThis is now where you're beginning to connect with somebody to have sex.\n\nSo when you're out and about, now that you got your clothing on, you got your cologne on, your perfume on, you looking a little better now, you're loving yourself, you feel good about yourself.\n\nYou may catch somebody's eye, and they may catch your eye.\n\nTake it in.\n\nTake that in.\n\nTake in those attractive people that you see.\n\nDon't be acting like you can't see them.\n\nTake a look at them smile.\n\nYou ain't got to stare, but just okay.\n\nAin't nothing wrong with what I'm doing.\n\nI see an attractive person, or they see an attractive person, they're looking at me.\n\nBe happy about it.\n\nEnjoy that.\n\nNow, when you see something mutual happening, when you're both looking at each other, take that in.\n\nEnjoy that moment.\n\nHold your eye contact.\n\nSmile and say, this is to yourself.\n\nThis is okay.\n\nWe're human beings.\n\nWe found each other to be attractive.\n\nAnd then from there, if you want to get closer, if you all start talking, flirt and enjoy the connection.\n\nIt allows you to both determine if you're interested in having sexual relations.\n\nSo as a man, you could be saying things that may open up the door for her to reveal if she's with somebody or if she's available for sex or if she wants to have sex.\n\nYou can talk about what type of sex position she's interested in.\n\nYou can set up a date, and this is what you'll do on that date.\n\nYou'll be flirting and discussing what you went to what you want to do.\n\nAnd this is what flirting is about, is communication prior to sex, basically to see if there's a connection there beyond just the other things.\n\nSo men, be honest about your intentions.\n\nIf you want to have sex with this woman, just say so, okay?\n\nA lot of men want to beat around the bush and talk about everything else but sex, but let her know, look, I want to have sex with you.\n\nI want to bury my face between those fat thighs of yours.\n\nI want to clap them cheeks.\n\nOkay?\n\nNow, a little bit about flirting.\n\nWhat I just said was a very direct, ahead of time.\n\nYou want to kind of just ease in.\n\nYou might want to give her compliments about her body or whatever and see how she takes it.\n\nIf she's smiling and allowing that kind of conversation to keep happening, you can continue to escalate and talk about what you want to do sexually to her.\n\nOkay?\n\nYou're not going to get me too from a woman that wants to have sex with you.\n\nYou just got to make sure that she's interested, and you will know that by her responses as you escalate in the flirting.\n\nAll right?\n\nAnd women, you can do the same thing.\n\nAnd ladies, you need to be honest about it as well.\n\nSome women like the flirting but don't necessarily want to take it that far sexually with the man.\n\nSo it's important that you kind of be honest that, hey, this ain't going to go no further than that.\n\nAnd so you might want to cut it off at some point.\n\nAnd don't lead the man on to thinking that he's going to get something or that you giving him your number or you taking his number means that this is going to lead to something extra when you have no intention of doing that.\n\nSo it's important to be honest because we don't want to hurt each other's feelings.\n\nWe don't want to leave people longer or waste each other's time.\n\nOkay, be empathetic basically towards the opposite sex.\n\nNumber six, have sex with empathetic and reciprocal people.\n\nAll right, so now you was flirting.\n\nYou all got a connection, and maybe all of this was with your already current partner.\n\nYou're just opening up sexually now from sexual repression.\n\nMaybe you both were sexually repressed from church, and you're a married couple and you were flirting and all of this stuff now it's time to connect sexually.\n\nSo it's important to always communicate your sexual desires with your partner before and after sex.\n\nSo before, like I said, that flirting.\n\nWere you talking about what you want to do to that person or what you want done to you?\n\nIt's important to be talking about that.\n\nAny safe words you may want to bring up so that if it gets intense that the other person knows that they can say something to kind of pause the session.\n\nWhat's your safe word?\n\nIf this gets really intense or something and you want to get out of it or something, it's important to talk about it.\n\nIt's important to talk about sex after the fact as well.\n\nSo after sex is important to say, hey, anything I can do better on?\n\nOr if you're in a relationship, it's important to have a conversation about the performance and how you guys had sex.\n\nYou don't want to be repeating the things that are not working for each other.\n\nNow, when you're talking about your desires prior to sex, this is really a turn on for most people because it shows assertiveness and confidence.\n\nIt says, I know what I want and when somebody is talking to me, like a lady talking to me and tell me what she want to do to me and what she wants to receive from me, that's arousing that's part of flirting and that's Floorplay.\n\nAnd so it's important to have that already in place.\n\nAnd of course I'm doing the same thing, and women get turned on by that.\n\nAll right?\n\nSo you got to flirt.\n\nYou got to communicate.\n\nYou can't just have sex and not know what the other person likes.\n\nYou got to have a conversation.\n\nOkay?\n\nExplore different sex acts and positions with your partner.\n\nBe spontaneous.\n\nYou can buy sex games that will spice up your sex life.\n\nRole play.\n\nInclude another person if you're advanced.\n\nSo now you got a third thing going on there.\n\nYou could visit the orgy if you want, however you want to get down, but you have to be advanced.\n\nI'm not telling you to jump into this right after you just realized you was sex with your press, but this is some advanced stuff here.\n\nBut back to what's really, really important.\n\nBe sensual and connect with your partner, okay?\n\nA lot of people, especially when they get raped, they tend to lose their connection with themselves.\n\nSo anytime they do have sex, they tend to leave their body and kind of watch their body have sex.\n\nAnd that's not how you supposed to experience sex.\n\nYou supposed to be present in your body, feeling everything.\n\nAnd so it's important to always have sex with people that are empathetic and reciprocal.\n\nSo if your partner isn't that way, you need to find somebody who is.\n\nAll right, so there must be a lot of close eye contact, a lot of touching, a lot of holding, a lot of care, a lot of feeling around, a lot of listening to your partner.\n\nIf she's saying something to, hey, this hurts, or this is not comfortable, you need to stop and you need to change positions or whatever, but communicate and listen to each other when you all have sex, all right?\n\nAnd once again, live in the moment.\n\nSex is about living in the moment.\n\nLife is about living in the moment.\n\nStay in the present.\n\nDon't be thinking about the future, the past, what the other person thinks of you.\n\nGet your confidence together and just get down and get in there and express yourself sexually and enjoy yourself.\n\nGet in there and enjoy that woman's body if you're a man.\n\nAnd ladies, enjoy that man.\n\nSo finally, number seven here is to protect your body and your heart, all right?\n\nSo it's important that you may not just be with your partner, you may be with somebody outside you're not married to or you're somebody who just friends with or f*** with you or whatever communication that you got going on with them or level of relationship you're with.\n\nBut wear sexual protection.\n\nMake sure you got condoms, all right?\n\nGet an STI or STD.\n\nCheck up Every three months from your doctor.\n\nSo every 90 days, speak with your doctor, get your blood test.\n\nThat way you just stay clean.\n\nIt's important that you Stay On it, but to never go to the doctor to check up something unless you start feeling some type of way is not A Good idea, especially if you out here having a lot of sex, because people carry stuff.\n\nSo it's important to always stay on it.\n\nBut of course, like I said, you're wearing protection now.\n\nYou got to protect your heart out here, your heart, because you're going to now be having A lot of sex and maybe be drawn a lot of men to you ladies, or as a man, you're drawing a lot of women to you.\n\nThey're going to be haters out there.\n\nThey're going to be envious.\n\nPeople who don't like that you're getting a lot of sex, okay?\n\nThere may be people that are sexually repressed who look at you as if you're The Scum Of The earth, okay, ladies, you Might Get called a hole by some church woman or some lady who thinks sex a woman who has a lot of sex is somehow A bad person.\n\nYou have to be prepared for that and perhaps just stay away from circles that are judgmental.\n\nAnd as a man, you can't hang around men who are envious of your Sexual prowess and your ability to go out and get women, okay, because they don't Try To Undermine you and stop you from having A good time.\n\nThese women ain't doing Nothing wrong, and you ain't doing Nothing wrong.\n\nIt's them and Their self esteem issues and their lack of courage and whatever issues they got them in a condition where they're not attracting women and having sex on a regular basis, so that's their issue.\n\nBut you got to protect yourself out here and finally remember that there are people out here that only want to use you for sex and they have no intention of anything else.\n\nAnd you just have to keep that in mind that you're not going to be able to get all your needs met by this person that you're having sex.\n\nThe sex might be great, but they just may not be a good fit for you socially.\n\nAnd so you can't get caught up with needing love from them.\n\nSo that's something to keep in mind when you have sex.\n\nJust keep it at that.\n\nAnd if they want to take it further and they say, hey, I want more from you, and that's what you want, then good, that's fine.\n\nBut don't go out here expecting to get more out of a sexual relationship, all right?\n\nBecause that's just not how it works.\n\nThat's it.\n\nThat's all I got for you guys.\n\nHope that helps.\n\nI'll have these notes written up in the broadcast notes so that you can look at them.\n\nUntil next time, like and share, subscribe, leave a comment, email me at neil@neoreal.com I appreciate you guys for listening and have a good 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