Don’t tell everyone your ideas

The creator of Spanx said,

An idea is at it’s most vulnerable stage at birth.

Basically, if you have a idea you want to pursue, it’s best not to tell friends and family because you could be discouraged from pursuing it.

You’re capable enough to do the research yourself and find if it’ll work out or not. Most people are trained to work at a job, they are not innovators and so they’ll be quick to tell you how your idea won’t work. But of course you can tell your family and friends once you’ve blown up and acquired a ton of cash.

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Settling for less

When you settle for less (when you don’t have to) there is a major problem with you. This comes from a sense of unworthiness. Unworthiness comes from many sources that treat you like you’re worthless whether it be bad people, demons or your own thoughts.

I was suffering from a feeling of unworthiness. I didn’t feel I deserved the best. I found myself accepting situations that most normal people just wouldn’t. I’ve settled for a bad job, bad churches, the wrong food order, terrible friends, and crappy services. All those times I never thought to myself, “I don’t deserve this! This is not where I belong. I can do better. I’m not accepting this.

Suppose someone offends you, but you just take it because you don’t want to cause trouble, or your food order is wrong, but you just accept it because you don’t want to go through the trouble of getting the corrected order, you have essentially slapped your own face. Anytime you hold your tongue, you train your mind to think “My opinion of myself doesn’t matter, but other people’s opinion of me does.”

When things go wrong, it’s better to address them swiftly. I often felt like it would be too much work to go and correct an order or a offending person, but when I did, I’d feel much better for it and without regret.

I have to realize that it was that sense of worthlessness that gave me the excuse to keep quiet in the first place. Demons in the mind can be very deceptive — hiding their true motives under excuses so they can maintain their position.

Therefore, if I continue to settle, I won’t be successful because success is based on rejecting defeat while continuing to press on. Success is based on getting rid of what’s holding you back rather than keeping it.

Truth: there’s always a better opportunity, better people, better services, better environments somewhere else. Don’t deny the truth of an ugly situation and settle for it and don’t make excuses for why you’re settling, because that has a way of leaving you with regret.

I’ve found that I can have what I want and that I don’t have to settle for less. If something is wrong and I have the ability to change it, I must change it. As for this feeling of worthlessness: I must constantly remind myself and believe that I am worthy, and I’ll go for the best and get what I want despite what the voices around me tell me.

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Bring your keys with you

Even if you’re going to the door to get the pizza from the delivery guy, bring your keys with you. If you’re just going to take out the trash, bring your keys with you. If you’re going outside to get your mail — even if it’s just on the front porch — bring your keys with you.

If there’s a friend coming by and you want to let him/her in, bring your keys with you. If you’re going to your garage, bring your keys with you. If you’re going outside on your back or front porch, bring your keys with you. If you’re going outside for anything, bring your keys with you.

Put them in your pocket before you go outside. This will ensure you never make the mistake of locking yourself out your house.

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Job Marginization

This was a term I’d never heard of until after I was fired.

What marginalization looks like:

  • Not being kept in the loop
  • Exclusion from key meetings
  • Your responsibilities have been slowly taken away
  • Given work that most would be considered undesirable
  • You’re treated like an invisible person

These are signs that your job is coming to an end. You either should leave on your own or be fired.

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They don’t like me

You have to accept the fact that some people aren’t going to like you. There’s nothing you can do to change that. So don’t put your energy into trying to please everyone because people’s tastes change, they’re erratic, and their needs are insatiable.

When you strive to please people, you will no longer be free to be yourself. When you strive to please people, you will always be in subjection to them. One day you feel good about yourself because it seems that people accept and like you, another day you feel bad about yourself because people reject and dislike you. That’s just the wrong way to live.

Be unique, stand out and don’t care about being liked by everyone.

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The majority may be wrong

Just because the majority rules, doesn’t make the majority right.

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How To Budget

First: Total up your monthly income. Include your paycheck, any hustles, freelance work etc. Second: List all your monthly expenses. Include your car, house/rent, utilities, Internet, phone, credit cards, groceries, clothes, hair, and other service costs. Be thorough and don’t miss anything.

  • Total up your expenses. Example: $900
  • Total up your income. Example: $1500

In this example, you’ve got $600 left over to either play with, donate and/or save. It’s always a good idea to save and donate. You’ll need money for a rainy day or to meet some financial goal, and it’s always cool to help someone or some cause through donation.

Third: Everytime you get your check, set aside a portion for important bills first. Don’t spend it. Make sure rent, utilities, phone and food are taken care of first, these are the essentials. You should give yourself an allowance from the remaining money after expenses are deducted.

Put the money in an envelope and only touch that money. All the rest can be stored in the bank and set up to auto pay your payees. Most banks have this free option, talk to them about it. This will make sure your essential bills are paid off, thus securing your shelter and mobility.

In the example above, the living expenses accounted for 60% of the person’s total income. 40% left over is pretty good. The idea is to have a good amount of money left over to live on. You have to determine what percentage you want left over.

If you find that you have little to no money left over after expenses, or you can’t even pay your essenitial bills, you may need to consider finding a better paying job or an additional job. Working paycheck to paycheck isn’t living, it’s surviving and you want to live. What’s the use of working just to eat and sleep just to go back to work again. You want to have some fun money left over for living.

Reducing Your Expenses

A lot of people spend the majority of their money on clothes, food and entertainment only to find out that they can’t pay the rent when it’s due. I’ve seen too many people on the bus wearing gold chains, rocking expensive smart phones, designer shoes, jeans and jackets, but ain’t got no heat at home, while about to be evicted. It’s important to be disciplined and stick to the budget.

Another way to make ends meet and be able to take care of the important bills is to reduce your cost of living:

  • You could get a cheaper house/apartment
  • Shop at a discount food store like Aldi or Save-a-lot
  • Stop eating out, get some frozen dinners
  • Better yet, cook with whole foods (much cheaper and healthier)
  • Buy clothes from thrift stores
  • Sell you high priced car, and get a cheaper, used one
  • Reduce the cost of heating by covering your windows, getting some better ones and wearing an extra sweater in the winter

Now, if you’ve just got to look sharp, have that name brand cereal, the latest smartphone while living in that fancy neighborhood, you’d better make enough money to support it with room for saving and giving, if not, you’re just plain foolish.

Swallow your pride and work to get better income and then you can live the way you want. Frontin’ like you got a million bucks is only killing you and no one really cares all that much about how you look anyway. This isn’t everyone’s case, of course. Sometimes you just have to get your bread-up and the things you’ve been doing, whether it’s a low paying job need to change. Realize their needs to be a change and work towards that change.

Use the Internet to find opportunities that bring in additional income. Go back to school, or educate yourself for free at the library and through reputable sites on the Internet. There are tons of things you can do. You can make it if you try.

Take care of yourself.

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Fashion Trends I Hate

Fake Eyelashes

One trend I hate is these big, bushy, fake eyelashes on women. No man has ever turned downed a pretty girl because her eye lashes weren’t long enough. That’s not even on our list of things we consider beautiful. The top three are still the top three: Hair, face and body. But if you got nice, long eyelashes fine, but if not, it’s not a deal breaker. No man cares. All these fake eyelashes are doing it making these women look like male transvestites.

Saggin’ Pants

I know this is old, butt, I’m tired of young men sagging their pants. I just saw an old dude sagging too — butt hanging out in °40 below. He had to be like 50 years … smh. I ain’t gonna lie, I used to do it myself, but I wised-up because it’s just plain inconvenient — you can’t walk straight, gotta keep pulling them up, breeze on my buttocks — it’s just plain dumb!

The devil got these young boys minds thinking saggin’ (“niggas” spelled backwards) is a fashion. But if they only knew that that’s how the “prison queens” wear their pants for Big Bubba. Sometimes I wanna slap these dudes and say, “WAKE UP!” What makes it worse is I seen some old dudes (56 yrs old) doing it too.

Think about it.

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Christians & Matchmaking

A word to those folks who like matchmaking Christian men:

I wish married and single women would stop trying to hook me up with their daughters or their lonely friends.

First: The bible says, “HE who finds a wife finds a good thing…” (Pro 18:22). That means, I will find my wife. I didn’t ask you, nor do I need your help! Second: The choices you present to me are not even what I like. That’s because the search is my job, not yours! Third: Did you ever consider if I was called to be single, or consider if I was a eunuch!? See, you didn’t even think of that.

I don’t care about your carnal excuses for “helping” me. Women have no business trying to hook no single man up, stop! You’re in sin! This is disrespectful. You don’t even know me like that. Who’s to say I turn out to be like Ike and do your girlfriend like Tina. See, you didn’t even think of that. I mention this because you often have no clue as to who I am, you just think I you know me. You’re foolish.

You’re operating in the flesh, not in the Spirit. You’re being a busy-body (as 1 Tim 5:13 talks about). Get out of my business! Quit asking me questions to see if I match up with your girlfriend — you ain’t Match.com. Quit looking at me as a prime candidate for your daughter — I’m not running for president.

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Loving when I don’t like them

Someone asked the question on Facebook: Can I truly love someone, like the Word says if I don’t like them? I believe the answer is: Yes, we can love without liking.

Liking has to do with preference, but love has to do with actions based on the character of God. Love is being kind, humble, honest, patient, considerate, forgiving, respectful… to others despite how they treat us, or if we like them or not. Love is a character trait we must display.

I once told a coworker that another coworker was trying to prank her. I could’ve said nothing and watched her get clowned, but I gave her the heads-up because I was being considerate. I considered how she would feel having her intelligence insulted, and everything else that happens to a person who gets pranked. I was showing love even though I didn’t like her character (she, being pretty disrespectful and Jezebelian).

Human personality, style and preferences are something we need to respect (which is an attribute of love) even if we don’t like them because of the difference. Differences will always be with us. Aside from that, there’s a lot of sin in people too, which none of us will like, but we still must show love. And we can only do this by the power of Spirit in us.

So, yes we can love without liking.

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